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7. the first test

January 26, 2011

Of course, I didn’t find out that the worms were dead for some time. X told me to wait two months, and then to send a stool sample to England to be tested. Our honeymoon was in late July, so on the first of October, I went to my doctor and asked for a parasite test. He set me up, I got the kit, and used it to send my sample to England. Then I said, “What the hell” and went back to the lab, telling them I lost the kit, got another kit, and submitted my test for my own doctor to evaluate.

Yes, I lied. It seemed harmless. No, I have not yet confessed it. Except to you, dear blog reader. Absolvo me?

Anyway, I put it out of my head, because I didn’t want to obsess about it, except that I was. In the meantime my cycle of symptoms continued, although, I allowed myself a glimmer of hope, here, because they DID seem a tad bit lighter than usual. Within days I got my results: negative. No worms. My doctor’s test confirmed that I was still worm-free.

I realized that in 99.9% of cases, this is good news. However, I was crushed. The only thing I could think of was that the Italian government irradiated the FedEx package, as a normal part of their postal security protocols, killing my little guys. Poop. Not going to try it in Italy again, obviously.

I called X and told him what happened. He sympathized and told me they would send another shipment as soon as I was ready for it. Lisa and I were planning a little getaway anyway in a few weeks time, so it seemed prudent to use that time for worm retrieval.

Yeah, it was a setback, but it only served to make me more determined than ever. The sickness was not abating. I was going to get those worms if it was the last thing I ever did.

I began packing my bags.

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